i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
