I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Banned from zoo.
Again?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
