watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
