My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize