Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
