We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
