I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
