Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We left the knife in your bed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
