you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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