he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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