She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
