so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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