Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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