Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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