Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize