Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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