I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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