I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize