Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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