Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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