He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
