So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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