I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
