He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
