If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
