Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
