Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
