I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
