Please, let me fuck your mom
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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