I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
