I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
