his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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