wrigley field is MILF paradise
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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