What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
