I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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