In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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