so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So much Jack, so little girl.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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