just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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