that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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