this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
