Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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