hell yes lets make some ravioli
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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