he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
