so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
