I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
