Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
