If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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