I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
