a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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