@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
