She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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