It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize