Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
