Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
