my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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