come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
