About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
