ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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