I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
