How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
