Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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