we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
