Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
